4. This ‘I am’ business

5th December 1979

Maharaj: There is a customer for everything, but what is the cause of your beingness being the customer? The primary concept is the ‘I am’, out of it are created all other concepts. You have come from the primary concept, so long as you have the need to be, you have this prolific wonderful world and all the Gods are available. The distinction between the world and Brahman has come because you want to sustain your beingness, the ‘I am’, the manifest world is made important by you because you want to be. But when the need for beingness is not felt, like in sleep or in short, when consciousness is not conscious, there is no need. When consciousness is there, it will always need consciousness when consciousness is not there, where is the need for anything at all? Of what use is the availability of the world? The world and its lord are only a nuisance in my state. The need to be is bondage, no needs no bondage. I will not be stupid and ask how I am in the absence of consciousness. There can be no talk about the state prior to consciousness. In the realm of consciousness are the experiences and all the talk. The one, who has recognized, understood and transcended oneself can talk, otherwise, one is caught in the pincer movement of Maya; you are caught by your own tentacles (identification with body-pincer). Because of your own deception, you ask questions, you are caught and enmeshed in more and more concepts.

Information about myself in the absence of consciousness, nobody can tell me. I also don’t need it, since that is so; you are non-plussed by me. I have full knowledge prior to beingness, which is eternal. In the waking state there is struggle and fatigue, in deep sleep there is relaxation, it is a cycle. What is the purpose?

Visitor: To maintain consciousness. What is beyond it?

M: Whatever without it (consciousness) is perfect. Only that is, nothing else. My body is universal, not individualistic. What is this ‘I am’ business? Understand it and be apart from it, transcend it. Just be.

V: Where has maharaj’s ego gone?

M: It is not individualistic, it is manifestable, but when it is manifest, it is no more an individual suffering.

V: what is the use of self-realization?

M: Nishkam(stable) Parabramhan .When you are hit by pain, the doctor gives you an ointment. Who is the customer? Pain is the customer, not you.

V: does the pain go?

M: It is just an event happening, understand it and go through it. The ‘I’ consciousness is pain as well as happiness. You wake up happy in the morning, as the day goes by there is unhappiness. Without ‘I’ consciousness can you understand anything? The ‘I’ consciousness is unhappiness therefore you seek happiness. That which you do with effort is unhappiness. Even now, I am speaking from deep sleep, so it is coming from sleep. I have enjoyed it, so I speak. Sleep is darkness, complete – that is ignorance. In darkness, ignorance I speak. Knowledge from ignorance is ignorance. This knowledge is an illusion. A child born of ignorance says I am Brahman.

V: Who is doing this?

M: That is the trap of your mind. If you do not experience your mind, you are liberated. Why do you call anything logical? Waking and sleep states are your experience. You don’t accept what I say, because in doing so you are nothing. In reality nothing can be given and taken, call it logic, experience. Take it as you like, here acceptance and rejection are transcended.

Parents have given you a name; apart from that can you give me your name or identification? The Atman is formless, names and forms are of the body. Consciousness is also an illusion, non-personal, non-verbal. The moment you do not recognize mind and body you feel no pinch, can you say the sky is diseased?

Food contains both the useful and the waste, so what is good or what is bad is relative. Flowers are eventually dirt but while buying they cost fifty rupees. I don’t discuss Brahman or Maya; I tell you my story which is your story as well. With Atmajnana(Self-knowledge) the ‘I’ consciousness is not there. Then I don’t worry about God or illusion. The ‘I am’ is the starting point of both misery and happiness.                .......................

I  AM

The complete ‘I am’ quotes of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

90

The Guru, God, and your own knowledge – these three are one. If you know that, you become quiet. Guru means knowledge and knowledge means ‘I am’. The ‘I amness’ is itself the Guru.

91

That state in which you were before you acquired this knowledge ‘I am’ is the real state. Only after you got this knowledge you identified with the body-mind. Whatever you have acquired, including the body-mind, that will go, and it is useless, and that is that. But your original state, before you acquired the body, is the Truth, is the Real state, and it will remain.

92

The beginning and the end of this understanding is the knowledge ‘I am’. The beginning of concepts started with the primary concept ‘I am’. Having wandered through all the concepts, and rejected them, you have to get rid of this last or the first concept.

93

To start with you have to be in that beingness or ‘I am’ without the body sense. You feel that you are the body now but when you abide in that beingness you will know then how you are without the body sense. But don’t forget, at the same time; that body and the vital breath are very necessary. Once you understand these three entities correctly (body, vital breath and the message ‘I am’), then you are apart.

94

This knowledge ‘I am’ comes to you after your body is born, after that the body of childhood grows on its own and becomes old. What remains in the end is only one thing ‘I am’. So all through life you have to remember to investigate who is this ‘I am’. Otherwise birth and death will have no meaning for your beingness, because that beingness will also be dissolved after the death of the body.

95

To understand more clearly take the example of the dream world. You are in deep sleep and suddenly you feel ‘I am’ and that ‘I amness’ creates a dream world. Similarly this manifest world is created by that ‘I amness’. You will realize this later in the search for truth. The last progress will be for you to transcend this ‘I amness’ and get stabilized in the ultimate.

96

The knowledge ‘I am’ is the first ignorance and whatever knowledge you acquire with it is ignorance. Go back to the source of your ignorance.

97

Whatever is called God or Self is because there is the beingness, the feeling that ‘I am’. That is the fundamental principle, the basis of all your knowledge, but you are identifying yourself with the body.

98

With greatest interest you get absorbed in your Self. By giving attention only to your ‘I’ consciousness you can reach it. Without giving attention to the body but to the sense ‘I am’.

99

The consciousness that has come out of the five elements, through the body, is the quality of beingness, the knowledge that ‘I am’. That state of beingness will perish. There is no necessity for following any particular path, everything is the same. Think of that which is the center of the cosmos; don’t let your attention stray in any way from the knowledge of beingness, ‘I am’. Keep on knowing that ‘I am’ and through this insistence you will know the state you want to reach.

100

Before this knowledge ‘I am’ appeared on you, you were absolutely unattached. As soon as this knowledge dawned on you, you became attached to everything around you. Only that false ‘I’ is attached. Everything is just happening and that false ‘I’ is taking the credit for doing things.

101

All this conceptual cycle is created by you because you have the concept ‘I am’, which you must eradicate yourself. When you are in deep sleep is there any experience of pleasure and pain or birth and death? What does that mean? It means that the concept ‘I am’ has vanished.

102

You must meditate on that ‘I am’ without holding on to the body and mind. As you nursed at your mother’s breast when you were a baby, so must you nurse at this ‘I am’, the knowledge of your beingness. Remember and meditate on this also ‘I have no fear, I am beyond fear’. I am telling you that this fear will gradually lessen and will go completely, because I say so. The medicine for that fear is my word.

103

The Absolute state does not know itself, but the Absolute is offered and opportunity to understand itself through the food product, the ‘I am’. The very core of all atoms is permeated by that knowledge ‘I am’. Embrace all the atoms of the universe with the feeling that all of them have come inside us in the form of the knowledge ‘I am’.

104

You are so used to support of concepts that when your concepts leave you, although it is your true state, you get frightened and try to cling to them again. This is the meeting point of that immanent principle and the Eternal, the borderland. Why is the intellect puzzled here? That beingness which you are experiencing is melting away. When the concept of ‘I am’ goes, intellect also goes. So the intellect gets that frightening experience of ‘I am going’.

105

When you become one with that knowledge you will realize that the knowledge ‘I am’ is the very Guru of the universe. Don’t make use of anything except the knowledge ‘I am’. Forget everything else. Consider a magnificent tree with many branches and leaves. Go to the root and not the branches.

106

The ‘I am’ connotes the three states, waking, dream and deep sleep. ‘I am’ means that you are these three states, when these are gone the memory is also gone.

107

The appearance of the primary concept ‘I am’ is the beginning of duality. I started counting with myself, before this counting starts. That has no number. That is the Absolute. With that little movement ‘I am’ this counting started.

108

What you must witness is not your thoughts but the consciousness ‘I am’. Everything is an expression of the ‘I am,’ but you are not that; you are prior to the ‘I am’.

109

There is the true Awareness, from which comes consciousness, which is your feeling ‘I am’, be one with your consciousness and that is all that you can do, the Ultimate must come to you. You can only watch what happens – there is nothing you can do to get it.        ............

140

The message ‘I am’ does not have any form, design, or color. So long as ‘I am’ is, this experience of manifestation is, once that ‘I amness’ disappears there is no experience. Once this message ‘I am’ appears in insect, animal, or human being, immediately the manifestation occurs with that beingness. Inside and outside is full of manifestation. These talks are not for general consumption, or the masses.

141

The message ‘I am’ has no form, it is only a food container. It is there, it has meaning, you cannot perceive it, observe it. The message ‘I am’ is time-bound. The principle to which ‘I am’ refers is beyond time, timeless, eternal.

142

The knowledge ‘I am’ is the same, whether it is an insect, worm, human being or an avatar (being of the highest order); the basic consciousness is the same in all of these.

143

There is no reason why this consciousness came about, but once it comes about, it cannot stand still, consciousness is the same as movement. That movement takes place through the three gunas, which are inherent in this knowledge ‘I am’. All movement takes place through these gunas and this consciousness keeps on humming.

144

‘Satva’ is only the essence of the five elements and in that is the knowledge ‘I am’. All that is still of the five elements, so how did this come about? Then my Guru told me, ‘this is what you are’, the whole story; so from my own experience I know that it is all ignorance.

145

My Guru pointed out to me that originally I had nothing to do with all this and all I have with which to solve this mystery of life is the knowledge ‘I am’; without that there is nothing. So I got hold of it, as my Guru told me, and then I wanted to find out how this body aspect came about without my knowledge and how alone on that any other knowledge come about, and that again is a result of five elements. Therefore, whatever anybody thinks he has, is sheer ignorance, and I know it from my own experience.

146

If this is ignorance, then where is my beingness? My beingness is in a town which is no-town, in a place which is no-place. How did this come about? Because of the knowledge ‘I am’, which is ignorance. Maya, which came about suddenly, without my asking. Once having come about, this Maya liked what it had created and it wanted that beingness to last for all time. Maya embraced it with such fierceness, that, at any cost, it wants to prolong the existence of that beingness as long as it can.

147

The beingness, the ‘I am’, is merely an instrument, it is not you. It is an instrument of knowledge, and that great instrument of knowledge is called God, which is the quality of the food essence. Out of that alone you will be able to see everything else.

148

One who is completely rid of coming and going, and finally, one who is completely rid of one’s very own concept that ‘I am’, is completely liberated.

149

Brahman means the emanation of the world, simultaneously confirming that ‘I am’. In this Brahman everything is illusion, but who understands that? The principle that understands, realizes, and witnesses is the ‘Parabrahman’. Witnessing happens to the ‘Parabrahman’. In this manifest state everything is ever changing, nothing is permanent, and all is illusion.

150

When you are in deep sleep and you feel that you are awake, the dream world appears simultaneously. With the ‘I am’, the world appears in the waking and dream states.

151

Concepts come into the sense of being ‘I am’ because of the vital breath that causes the mind flow. Mind means words, so thoughts are there – they are the concepts. Look at your root, the child consciousness, and finish it off.

152

It is only during the duration of the beingness that the world and creation is. This power is the faith in the primordial concept ‘I am’, and that is the concept that weaves the web of creation. The entire manifestation is an appearance in this concept.

153

You must come to a firm decision. You must forget the thought that you are the body and be only the knowledge ‘I am’, which has no form, no name. Just be. When you stabilize in that beingness it will give all the knowledge and all the secrets to you, and when the secrets are given to you, you transcend the beingness, and you, the Absolute will know that you are also not the consciousness. Having gained all this knowledge, having understood what is what, a kind of quietude prevails, a tranquility. Beingness is transcended, but beingness is available.

154

On my true, whole, homogenous state just a small ripple appeared, the news came, ‘I am’. That news made all the difference, and I started knowing this; but now I have known my true state, so I understand my true state first, and then I understand that this ripple is coming and going on my true state. While in your case, you take interest in the ripple and don’t take interest in your true state.

155

The consciousness that ‘I am’ has created, and sustains, all the wonders in the world for which men take credit; on the other hand this consciousness has no control over itself. The principle out of which you have sprouted has tremendous powers. Lord Krishna has said, ‘You worship me, be devoted to me’, this means what? The knowledge ‘I am’ which is indwelling in you, worship that only.

156

Lord Krishna said ‘All are my expressions’. This knowledge ‘I am’ in each species is myself. The very life force – luminous, bright, radiant, indwelling principle is myself.

157

When you got yourself separated from the Absolute with this identity ‘I am’, you felt fragmented, isolated, and that is why your demands started. In the Absolute there are no needs, only the Absolute prevails. The truth is total Brahman only, nothing else but Brahman. In a total Brahman state arose the touch of beingness, ‘I am’, and with that, separation started, otherness has come. But this ‘I amness’ is not just a small principle, that itself is the ‘moolmaya’, the primary illusion.

158

If you want to remember this visit, if you have love for me, remember this ‘I am’ principle and without the command or direction of this principle, do nothing.

159

The ‘Maya’ is so powerful that it gets you completely wrapped up in it. ‘Maya’ means ‘I am’, ‘I love to be’, It has no identity except love. That knowledge of ‘I am’ is the greatest foe and the greatest friend. Although it might be your greatest enemy, if you propitiate it properly, it will turn around and lead you to the highest state.

160

Death is considered to be a traumatic experience, but understand what happens. That which has been born, the knowledge ‘I am’, will end. That knowledge, which was limited by this body, will then become unlimited, so what is to be feared?

161

That feeling of love must be understood and then love will unfold itself. Love for the Self, this consciousness, ‘I am’, those who have understood this as the true love, have themselves become love. All has merged in them.

162

This illness that I have got is not separate from what exists as the body, breath and the knowledge ‘I am’. This is one bundle, which has been created; whatever happens is contained in that bundle. I have been separate from it before conception, and will continue to be separate from what has been created.

163

What was conceived has grown physically, and some of the expressions of this knowledge ‘I am’ have achieved tremendous things. At the end of the time span the magnificent personalities, and whatever they have achieved – both have disappeared, however long the time, there is an end to it.

164

What is wrong is that you consider yourself to be limited to this body and shape. What knowledge I try to give is given to the knowledge ‘I am’ in each of you, which is the same. If you try to get the knowledge as an individual you will never get it.

165

That ‘I am’ is a concept, is to be understood while the concept is there. Once it merges in the original state, who (or what) is there who wants to know? The illusory entity has disappeared.

166

Whatever I am telling you, is not the truth, because it has come out of this ‘I am’. The truth is beyond expression. I am taking you again and again to the source of the spring. Once you go to the source you will come to know there is no water, water is the news ‘I am’.

167

Understand that it is not the individual that has consciousness; it is the consciousness which assumes innumerable forms. That something which is born or which will die is purely imaginary. It is the child of a barren woman. In the absence of this basic concept ‘I am’, there is no thought, there is no consciousness.

168

Any embodied person with the knowledge ‘I am’ carries on his activities in the world with the name only. That inner core, the ‘I am’ has no shackles. Once it is understood that I am that ‘I am’ only, and not this shackled form, then no liberation is called for, that itself is liberation.

169

In this spiritual hierarchy, from the grossest to the subtlest, you are the subtlest. How can this be realized? The very base is that you don’t know you are, and suddenly the feeling of ‘I amness’ appears. The moment it appears you see space, mental space; that subtle sky-like space, stabilize there. You are that. When you are able to stabilize in that space, you are space only. When this space-like identity ‘I am’ disappears, the space will also disappear, there is no space. When that space-like ‘I am’ goes into oblivion, that is the eternal state, ‘nirguna’, no form, no beingness. Actually, what did happen there? This message ‘I am’ was no message. Dealing with this aspect, I cannot talk much because there is no scope to put it in words.

170

Most essential is that knowledge ‘I am’. Claim it; appropriate it as your own. If that is not there, nothing is. Knowledge of all stages will be obtained only with the aid of this knowledge ‘I am’ From the Absolute no-knowing state, spontaneously this consciousness ‘I am’ has appeared – no reason, no cause.

171

This passing show maybe likened to the following situation: suppose I was well all along, then suddenly I was sick and the doctor gave me medicine. After three days my fever was gone. So this stage of fever for three days is the ‘I am’ consciousness. Exactly like that – a passing show, a time-bound state.

172

The knowledge ‘I am’ is not a thought but observes thought. The innermost, subtlest principle is that gnawing principle ‘I am, I am’ without words, by which you know you are. It has no form or image; it is only beingness, the love to be.

173

The ‘I am’ and the Absolute are not two. In the Absolute the ‘I amness’ comes and then the experience takes place. Whatever is happening, from the Absolute standpoint, without the knowledge ‘I am’, is very profound, unlimited, and expansive

174

Investigate that concept ‘I am.’ In the process of trying to find out your identity or this spiritual search, all will happen in the realm of this consciousness. You finally stumble on, or culminate into the Absolute ‘Parabrahman’ state, which is desireless.

175

Before the idea ‘I am’ sprouted, you are, but you don’t know you are. Subsequent to that there have been many happenings with which you have started decorating yourself. You try to derive the meaning of yourself out of subsequent words, happenings, and the meaning of words…that is not you…give it up. You are prior to the idea ‘I am’. Camp yourself there, prior to the words ‘I am’.

176

From deep sleep to the waking state, what is it? It is the ‘I am’ state with no words, later the words start flowing and you get involved with the meaning of the words and carry out your worldly life with the meaning of those words – that is the mind. But before the ‘I am’ and waking state, that borderline, there you have to be.

177

At most I would say ‘you worship that ‘I am’ principle, be one with it and that would disclose all the knowledge’. That’s all I will say, but the subtlest part is this, from deep sleep to waking state. To abide in that you must have an intensely peaceful state. In that state witnessing of the waking state happens. You must go to that limit, but it is very difficult.

178

If you have regard for me remember my words. The knowledge ‘I am’ is the greatest God, the Guru, be one with that, be intimate with it. That itself will bless you with all the knowledge relevant for you in the proliferation of that knowledge, it will lead you to the state which is eternal.

179

What is this knowingness? It is the stamp or registration of the booking ‘I am’. You are booking a flat, which is under construction but where is the flat? It is only the booking. Similarly this ‘I am’ is only booking, it represents your Absolute state.

180

Discrimination is very necessary to understand what I am saying. It is only after the arrival of consciousness that we try to understand ourselves. Consciousness is the so-called birth, birth means the three aspects: waking state, deep sleep and the knowledge ‘I am’. Once I understand what this birth is, then the whole mystery is solved. Since I have thoroughly known what this birth principle is, I will know very well at that happening of so-called death. I shall observe the departure of the vital breath, the language and the ‘I amness”, there is no question of death.

181

Who is going to give you eternal peace? It is only the sun, the ‘I am’. If you embrace that Self-effulgent sun everything else will go, but you will prevail eternally.

182

All your experiences and visions depend on your knowledge ‘I am’ and this itself is going to dissolve. For this knowledge there are no customers, no devotees, because they want something concrete in their hand, but when your knowingness itself is going to dissolve, is it possible to hold on to something?

183

You live in the house but the house is not yourself. Similarly the knowledge ‘I am’ is in the body, but it is not the body. When the knowledge ‘I am’ is not there do you perceive or observe anything? Knowingness is knowledge and no-knowingness is also knowledge, but it has no form. Call that knowledge ‘I am’ as your Self; don’t call the body as knowledge. The knowledge ‘I am’ is the primary God, meditate on that only.

184

All those praises sung by the ‘Vedas’ are only for that tiny little pinch ‘I am’. The moment you start making a design of that ‘I amness’ you are getting into deep waters. This incense holder is silver; you have the knowledge that it is silver. What is the shape, color, or design of that knowledge? If all knowledge is formless, could there be a form, design or color to the knowledge ‘I am’? Could it be subject to sin or merit?

185

I never seek anything from anybody else. Whatever I want to get, I get it out of my own being, I worship that very principle ‘I am’ and demand what I want out of that; because of that all these things are coming.

186

In this process you, as an individual, are not left at all. Try to understand that ‘I am’ is a product of the ‘satwa guna’, food essence product. When you throw out all the concepts, including your primary concept (‘I am’), then whatever is, is. Stay put in quietude.

187

All this profound talk is nothing but mental entertainment. As you go further into spirituality you will realize that ‘I am’ is the very God or soul of an infinite number of universes, but the ‘I am’ is again entertainment. All my talks are conceptual entertainment.

188

In the first few years the primary concept ‘I am’ was there, but in a dormant condition. Later on it started knowing itself. The ‘jnani’ state is like the child, when the child did not know itself. The apparatus through which that knowingness expresses itself is now quite different, but the principle is the same.

189

The world of ‘Maya’ is built up of concepts only. I cannot charge the world with giving me the pain; the whole cause of the pain is the knowingness ‘I am’. When this knowledge was not there was there any pain or pleasure?   ............

249

The ‘mumukshu, is in kindergarten, spiritually inclined, but identifying with the body-mind. The ‘sadhaka’ is one who has dis-identified with the body-mind. A ‘siddha’ is one who has stabilized in the knowledge ‘I am’, and in the process, has transcended it. In this journey you very well know where you are.

250

The core of this consciousness is knowingness, to know ‘I am’. It is not a personality, not an individual. It is total manifestation. Beingness is there, it fills everything. Nevertheless, this quality ‘I am’ is the result of the material, objective body. In the seed the whole tree is latent. In the droplet ‘I am’ all three worlds are squeezed in.

251

The highest state is the state of a ‘jnani’. The first step is to be that droplet (‘I am’). In the process of knowing that droplet, you are out of it, and that is a ‘jnani’. A ‘jnani’ is not obsessed by any calamities or any problems, because he has transcended the ‘I am’ principle. He watches the play as a witness.

252

The whole universe is experienced in the consciousness ‘I am’. If that is not there, what else can ever exist? This consciousness is beating a drum; everyone is carried away by the noise of the drum. Who looks for the drummer? Who is sounding and beating the drum? It is so amazing that no one casts even a glance at this speck of consciousness.

253

The habit of considering the Self as body has influenced everybody too much.

Worship the knowledge ‘I am’ as God, as your Guru. The knowledge ‘I am’ is your Guru. Be in it. Do you see the image of yourself in the mirror first, or do you know you are prior to that? Which is first? If you are not, can you see your image in the mirror? Give up trying to evaluate the real I or the counterfeit I, but associate with the ‘Brahman’, I am the ‘Brahman’.

254

The letters ‘I am’ are written spontaneously with a certain ink. What is that ink which was used to write that which you are? In that ink with which the letters ‘I am’ were written, in that ink of the title of ‘Tej Sesh Bhagavan’ is confirmed by the ‘Vedas’. ‘Sesh’ means the leftover, the remains. That ‘Tej Sesh Bhagavan’ has come spontaneously and will spontaneously go. The firm conviction that I am this, the three states – waking state, deep sleep and the knowledge ‘I am’ – are the aspects of that ‘Tej Sesh Bhagavan’. You are not that.

255

The message ‘I am’ is there. The mind flow is also there; it is not a personality, it is the consciousness. The very idea that you are the body is ridiculous; the consciousness is experiencing its manifestation. A rare being will realize this.

256

The Ultimate you can never be lost; whatever you have lost, you have lost only words. The Ultimate you knows or feels ‘I am’ without words. Through this ‘I am’ comes the world knowledge. You are not in isolation; you are part and parcel of the world knowledge.

257

Presently the feeling that you are is also memory. To sustain that memory of ‘I am’, all these raw materials are necessary. You are not that ‘I am’. You are as the Absolute, prior to this ‘I am’.

258

One cannot see rays of light, as such; they reflect only when they encounter another object. Similarly ‘I amness’ is the interruption because of these five elements and three ‘gunas’. That is why the feeling ‘I am’ is felt; but without the feeling of ‘I am’, still you are.

259

Start with the body. From the body you get the knowledge ‘I am’. In this process you become more and more subtle. When you are in a position to witness the knowledge ‘I am’, you have reached the highest. In this way you must try to understand, and the seeds of knowledge will sprout in you.

260

Now what is it that we are concerned with? We are dealing with the physical form, which is made up of, and fed by, the five elements. In that form are operating the life force (the vital breath) and this consciousness that is, the knowledge ‘I am’ or the sense of being, the sense of existence. The latter is the ‘sentience’, which is the gift of the consciousness.

261

Each of must say ‘I am’ and realize it. There is no ‘you’, and there is no ‘me’, as individual entities. Until the ‘I am’ thought was there, there was no manifestation; both came about simultaneously.

262

This knowledge ‘I am’, this consciousness, has come out of the prior state when there was no consciousness. The consciousness is a state which is now with us and because of which we suffer; and before this consciousness came, a state prevailed when we were not conscious and which was a happy state.

263

Guru means the ‘I amness’ itself, which always reminds you ‘I am’, ‘I am’, ‘I am’ – that is guru-guru-guru, like the sound of a motorcar starting. It is a continuous reminder that you are.

264

Is it necessary that you should remember that you are (‘I am’)? Spontaneously you know and remember that you are. That is why you have come here, have you not? It is because you are. Stay put there.

265

In order to not mistakenly hold on to something as ‘I am’ don’t say I am this, I am that; just hold on to yourself, you are, just be. Just be ‘you are’. Do you follow?

266

You are the knowledge ‘I am’. So if you want to worship, worship that knowledge ‘I am’. Be devoted to that ‘I amness’ only. When you do that, other rituals become redundant and useless. Finally when you realize that everything is useless, everything is ‘Brahman’, it means you are at the ‘Parabrahman’ level, the absolute level. When at that level, you will envision everything as useless, including the ‘Brahman’ because the ‘Brahman’ is also reduced to illusion. Therefore all these talks, including my own will be reduced to illusion when you reach the highest.

267

The one who abides in that principle by which he knows ‘I am’, he is the manifest. He abides in that manifest ‘Brahman’ all the twenty-four hours. Whether the body remains or not, that manifest self-principle always remains. You must continually remember, ‘chew the cud’, that the knowledge ‘I am’ signifies knowing all gods, all the ‘Vedas’, it is the ‘Brahman’ only. You must continually think about it, and should in the course of such reminiscing, the body drop off, then, that consciousness will definitely be the highest.

268

You are sitting here: ‘you are’, prior to words. Now the hearsay goes ‘I am’, ‘I am’ means the flow of the mind has started. Now whatever you say with that ‘I amness’, through the mind about ‘you’, you have represented as yourself. But that is not so.

269

The capital we have is the knowledge ‘I am’. But what have we done? We have handed over that knowledge to the body and we say ‘I am the body’. Thereby we have reduced the totality, the limitless, to the limited – a specified insignificant body. And that is why, being unable to give up this association with the body, we are afraid of dying.

270

The vital force carries out all the activities. The mind communicates, and the knowledge ‘I am’ is merely a witness; this is the actual state of affairs. But all these – that is, food body quintessence, and the knowledge ‘I am’, the vital breath and the mind – these are all a temporary phase only; so long as the food essence is available, the knowingness will last.

271

Тhe knowledge ‘I am’ is the product of interaction within the five elemental state, You are not that! You as the Absolute, are not the knowledge ‘I am’.

272

It is very simple. The body and in the body…it is like a coin. On one side, you have the vital breath for making possible all activity; and on the other side is the knowledge ‘I am’. Only when the vital breath is there, the knowledge ‘I am’ is present. When the vital breath leaves the body, the knowledge ‘I am’ also disappears. And both of these are the product of the food essence body. I am not that; this entire composite I am not. This you have to realize.

273

Find out why you are, what is the cause of your being ‘I am’? Actually you had no knowledge that you are or you were. But at this moment, you know you are. Why is that? Understand its cause. You alone know why you are; why is it offered to you that you are, you alone know. Don’t ask anyone else about it, but inquire by yourself. Don’t bother about others, worry only about yourself. That knowledge ‘I am’ is the product of what, is due to what? How and why? Inquire only into this matter.

274

Only that individual who has lost his individuality has merged with the ‘Parabrahman’. So the individuality must go. The entire world moves on the basis of one concept, and that is ‘I am’ – the fundamental concept of one’s individuality.

275

Ultimately all these concepts can and must be understood to be false, but the difficulty and the essential thing is to be convinced that the original basic concept ‘I am’ itself is false.

276

The aim is to awaken yourself to the faith in the self, ‘I am’. That is the entire purpose. So whatever is inductive to that development, you may accept. Suppose you have faith in a living guru, then, accept a living guru. If you have faith in a guru who has left his body, accept that guru.

277

First of all, this knowingness appeared, the knowingness ‘I am’; later on you embraced the body. Hold on to this only, and don’t ask any questions. You came to know yourself, ‘I am’, to abide in that itself is ‘bhakti’, the devotion.

278

Before you occurred to yourself as ‘I am’; you were in the highest state – the guru of the gurus – the ‘Parabrahman’ state. Later on you started filling up with all kinds of grosser matter and you came down to the body sense – I am the body. So, all these impurities have to be removed. Until then, you have to stay put in the quietude.

279

Your fall started with the appearance of that beingness, ‘I am’. With the appearance of this knowingness ‘I am’, the next fall was embracing the body as ‘I am’. And then you gathered so many things onto yourself. Hold on to the state of knowing yourself as ‘I am’ as the truth. All other things you have gathered to yourself are unreal.

280

From the no-knowing state, the first veil I took was that of ‘I am’, that was formless, nameless. But I embraced the body: I got a form for myself; I got a name for myself. This was the fall. Therefore all sages advise: Give up the shackles of the body! ‘I am the body’ – these are the shackles. Give them up.

281

This is no joke, but you can become ‘Parabrahman’ right now. Only it is not a commodity that you can acquire. You, a hundred years ago, were the ‘Parabrahman’. Give me all the information about that state of a hundred years back. Focus your attention only on that consciousness ‘I am’. Don’t be led astray by all the so-called spiritual disciplines and rigmaroles.

282

Who has the knowledge ‘I am’? Somebody in you knows the knowledge ‘I am’, who is it? It is very obvious that you know you are, but what or who is it that knows you are?

283

It is pure awareness that knows ‘I am’. Who can understand that illusory state? ‘I amness’ is illusory only. It is not a perfect state, it is illusion. Who knows the illusion? A non-illusory state only can know the illusory state. But what is the necessity to say pure awareness? ‘Awareness’ means pure. Since awareness knows ‘I am’, it is other; it is more than ‘I am’. That is the highest; there are no gradations in awareness. In the Absolute, the ‘Parabrahman’ state, there is no question of impure or pure awareness.

284

You are not the personality or the individual. The quintessence of this food, which in turn is the outcome of the five-elemental play, is the taste ‘I am’. ‘I am’ is not a personality or an individual. I am addressing that principle, that touch of ‘I am’, that consciousness which is the product of the food essence body.

285

How can you speak or develop any concept unless the primary concept ‘I am’ is available? This primary concept begets further concepts, that is, all other concepts occur to it. However, whatever concept occurs to you, including the primary concept ‘I am’, is not the eternal state.

286

This primary concept, ‘I amness’ is dishonest, because it is still a concept only. Finally one has to transcend that also and be in the ‘nirvikalpa’ state, which means the concept-free state. Then you have no concept at all, not even of ‘I am’. In that state one does not know that one is. This state is known as ‘Parabrahman’: ‘Brahman’ transcended. ‘Brahman’ is manifest; ‘Parabrahman’ is beyond that, prior to that; the Absolute. Do you understand what I am driving at? Whatever you caught in your attention, that attention should eventually turn into no-attention. The state that is finally left over is Awareness, ‘Parabrahman’.

287

With the arrival of the consciousness, it occurs to you that you are; simultaneously, ‘I am’ occurs to you or in your attention. So when the consciousness is not there, attention is also not there. Subsequent to the arrival of consciousness and attention, everything else crept in. The Absolute state is prior to consciousness; it means the unborn state. Since the ‘Parabrahman’ is the unborn state, prior to consciousness, can it have an iota of knowledge?

288

How can you retain the pride that I am like this? This ‘I am’ business depends entirely on the food essence. So how can you retain it perpetually – that I shall remain like this only? To extract any essence, water is very necessary, and the water quality is bound to dry up.

289

The knowledge ‘I am’ is a primary concept, and is also non-eternal. The One, the Absolute, which is eternal and aware, why should he worry about anybody else?

290

Once you reject what you are not, whatever finally remains, the leftover, is yourself – your true nature. Presently, whatever you know is ‘I am’, this ‘I am’ is the product of the five elements. Out of the elements comes the food body and because of the food body, that ‘I amness’ is sustained. And you are also not that ‘I am’. ‘I am’ is the taste, the fragrance of this food body. The ultimate ‘you’ has no fragrance, no taste, no touch of ‘I amness’.

291

The scriptures say that we have our ‘karma’ and our sin and that is why we are here, but this is for the ignorant masses. One who has realized the self-knowledge ‘I am’ for him these stories are of no use.

292

The primary illusion is only this knowingness ‘I am’, prior to that there was no illusion. This very consciousness is the source of illusion. This illusion or consciousness or ‘I amness’ does not remain as something eternal. It is liberated; this non-eternal consciousness is liberated, when the knowingness is transformed into non-knowingness, that is liberation.

293

To produce the source of the mind, ‘I am’, you must have the ingredient of the five-elemental juice. If that is available, the sprouting of the mind can begin with ‘I am’. You know you are before even speaking the words ‘I am’. Subsequent to the knowingness ‘I am’, you say ‘I am’ by words.

294

Are you not even before you have spoken the words ‘I am’? Stay put there only. There begins your spirituality, the foremost ‘you’, ‘I am’ without words, before the beginning of words. Be there; out of that grows the experience ‘I am’. Witnessing happens to that principle which prior to your saying the words ‘I am’. There is no such thing as deliberate witnessing. Witnessing just happens, by itself.

295

You must analyze ‘death’, the meaning of this common parlance. At the time that death occurs, the vital breath quits the body, gradually leaves the body. At the same time as the vital breath, the mind and the language also go out. Simultaneously, this quality of ‘I am’, this ‘sattva-guna’, the quality of beingness, also departs or goes into oblivion. Only I, the Absolute remains. Stay put there only; nothing happens to I, the Absolute.

296

Here is an article before it came into existence, what was its name? From non-being into the being state, how was it observed? You just felt that touch. Before observing anything we feel the touch of ‘I am’. To realize that state prior to conception, that eternal state, whatever that state is, to abide in that is the highest. Now, for your sake, I attach a name to it, the ‘Parabrahman’ state – the Absolute.

297

A ‘jnani’ knows that he has realized when he recognizes his knowingness, which is the sense of ‘I am’. Right here and now you are in the realized state. But you try to judge it through desires and mind-concepts, hence your inability to apperceive it and abide in it. In the ‘jnani’ state, there is no need for anything, not even to know oneself. You are attached to the body-senses; therefore even though you may attain an age of hundred years, you still would crave for more years.

298

On the state of ‘non-beingness’, the beingness appeared together with manifestation, creating a feeling as if ‘I am’; who that is, is not important, only ‘I am’ is important. The initial humming of the beingness as ‘I am, I am’ is the duality. But who accepts the duality? The ‘non-beingness’ accepts duality with the beingness. The Absolute ‘non-being’ state, by assuming the being state, becomes dual in manifestation.

299

First you have what is called ‘atma-bhava’ – that is the ‘I am’ sense. Later, this sense identifies with the form of a body, when it is called ‘aham-akar’, the ‘I am’ form, this is ego. Ego is never a title or name, but just a sense of ‘I am’ prior to words. The waking state, the sleep state and the knowingness ‘I am’ constitute an ego. In the absence of these three states what do you think you are? What would be the evidence of your existence?      .........................